I was debating whether I was going to post anything this year but decided that it was important because this day is apart of us - whether we like it or not. Today would be Jael's third birthday.
The last few weeks leading up to this day have been hard. I thought that this year would be easier but it doesn't seem to be the case. Memories of the month and the day and the funeral come rushing back (I guess because I suppress much of it throughout the year.). Conor got up this morning and told me that he "hated today." He said that the day makes him sad. He is much like his mom and does not talk about it, so I am glad that he voiced what he was feeling. On the other hand Mackensey wants to talk about it all of the time. In fact, the other day she told me that she and Conor have been talking and that they want another brother or sister - now that was funny! Seriously, she loves and adores the babies at our church and in our young couples group. It really breaks my heart at times to watch her and know what a great help she would have been. She would have adored her sister.
Today we will go down to our favorite spot, Maple Bay, and release some balloons in her memory and we will thank God for the blessings that he has given us.
5 comments:
We love you guys! Praying for today for you. We are going to release a balloon for Jael when Briley wakes up from her nap. You guys are so special and such incredible parents. Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts.
My heart aches with you . . . you've been on my mind all day. Jael will never leave us. She will forever be a significant face in the journey of all who were close to you during that time. . . I do not understand the ways of God. I cannot comprehend why he allows such extraordinary pain and loss in the lives of those who love him. . . Our hearts are with you! We love you deeply!
Thought of you yesterday. I like how Connor puts it. Kids have great and simple ways of explaining life..."I hate today". And I remember when HAVEN ODEN lost her mom she said "Cancer sucks". Though miscarriage is only a sample of the pain you've had to bare these 3 years, I like to think of our lost one being friends with Jael. Like Mackenzie is Makayla's big sister. I sometimes think of the one's who met my little one in heaven and I picture Jael there. Baby 4 would of been born this week most likly..And like Connor, all week I've thought "I hate this month".
Jael is truly Heaven's Princess. Our three pink balloons went straight to the heavens....didn't move right or left just straight, straight up....happy 3rd birthday Jael Renee our grand-daughter, remembered today and always..
I too mimick what Jess conveyed. Jael is a sweet spirit etched on our hearts that will never fade.
As I think back to that time, I'm constantly reminded of what a true friend you were to me. Although you were going through such pain, you also rejoiced and celebrated Cole with our family. Words cannot express how special you are to us.
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